Moyo talk with Patiz

Subtitle: I Was Trying To Run A Race That Was Never Mine I have been watching everyone around me. My friends moving fast, achieving things, posting wins. And me, I was just watching. This is what it felt like. Observing deeply, sometimes it makes me feel left out. "Life is not fair," I say. I try to run on the same lane as others; my friends. But it all seems like nothing. On the way, I feel hacked off. "What can I do?" I ask. I sit back. Actually, throwing in the towel. I try to fit in. Yet it's not my race. It's not my time. It's not my energy. "How do I do it?" I wonder. No solution. No strategy. All this drains me. It makes me belittle myself. It makes me shed tears. Not realising that competition is the killer of my dreams. Frankly, it's overwhelming. Despite that, I stay still, arise and walk slow. Making meticulous steps. "It doesn't matter when I will arrive at that destination," I claim. Only ...

Written by ;Patricia Frankly, being a firstborn is both a blessing and a burden. The fact of being given the first priority in everything is a blessing. The younger ones, even when not trained to show respect to you, they automatically show it with ease. You become the star of the family. All trust and belief is on you. But wait, here comes the worst part of it. Burden. The parents expect so much from you. Character-wise, in decision making. In short, you are the second parent to your siblings. At a tender age, you have to learn many things. Psychologically, you have to grow faster than your age. At eight years or seven, you already know how to cook, wash and clean everything. Some you are taught, but other chores, circumstances force you to learn all by yourself. You learn to stand in the gap for the young ones; sacrifice. When they make a mistake, you are the one to taste the sweetness of it all. Ouch! Nobody tells you sorry. You persevere the emotional pain. You solve yo...

In many families today, polygamy is common. A man marries a young lady and they live happily. The wife tries to do her duties correctly — trying to make her husband feel good, feel like the man of the house. Boom! Betrayal knocks at the door. The same man brings another woman into the family to be his second wife. Surely, the committed first wife gets hurt and tries to come to an understanding with her senses. Co-wife. Then, a war starts. A quiet war. Fighting for divided attention. For love. And for finance, since another family has been added. Sometimes it gets to physical fighting. A family that was once filled with true love is replaced with hatred. The women are filled with anger against each other. All this, at times, results in issues of witchcraft. Merely with the intention of harming one's children or the co-wife herself. For the children, it is hard to live in such an environment. But you have to accept the reality and live with it. You will be healed. That wh...

Currently,am in Eldoret Town.Where l see green grass,maize and other plants growing.It rains almost weekly.There is cool climate. 350km north of me -land cracks,no maize, no water and the sun feels like its on the forehead .Its actually scorching. Yes,l have never beern there - l thought l knew until l started researching. Turkana  is the largest county in Kenya,bordering Uganda,South Sudan and Ethiopia.Though,on our Tv screens its only shown when there is drought and hunger.I got curious.To know who these people are. Turkana people call themselves Ng'iturkana.Pastoralists they are.No doubt they enjoy doing it.They keep camels.At 40 degrees temperature ,farming can't be done.So they keep animals which can stay 7 days without water.In turkana,camel is everything; source of money and food. I found out about manyattas,these hurts are built by women in few hours .As they are made to be moved.They also have the beads worn by women on necks. Its true that each colou...

Better Be Alone **They Didn't Betray Me, They Revealed Themselves** Some people wonder why you have a small circle. Or no friends at all. In most cases, betrayal is the reason. You trust someone so much, then they break it. You fight for them, but they can never fight for you. You grade them as your close sister, your brother. Your "besty". To them, you mean nothing. You are not even in the list of their pals. Ouch. It truly pains. You become their puppet. You are just in their circle for their benefit. Believe me, all these breaks the fragile heart. Trust is all gone. The worst part is: you already know the reality, but they still act as angels. Fakeness. All this makes one withdraw from that space. It forces you to build your own circle. Oneself and one's thoughts. Period. Remember, once beaten, twice shy. And a broken glass can never be repaired. Better be alone. > I am not antisocial. I am anti-fake. And that is why my circle is small.

It's not a doubt to say that living with strict parents is somehow a survival life. > > As a girl, seeing your agemates going out and having so much freedom to make their own decisions without being forced can be painful. > > To be realistic, parents try to be strict but I guess it's their way of showing love for us. > > Being under strict parenting has both advantages and disadvantages. Yes, it instills discipline in us and other moral values. So you grow up being that "good girl." > > But wait — being a nice girl every time is tiresome. You are human, you can make mistakes. On the contrary, whenever you find yourself in a mistake, you merely want the world to open up and swallow you. > > Why? This simply shows the fear that lives in you because of strict parenting. > > My dear, it is life. You cannot run away from it. They are your parents, they love you. Just obey knowing that someday you will be free. You will make d...

The middle Child of Personality : Am an ambivert. People are confused about me. Some say I am fierce and quiet. My close friends say I talk too much. Both are true. Some days I wake up jovial and outgoing. I find it easy to associate with everyone — that's my extroverted side. But the next day, I become quiet. I only want silence. No attachments. I just want my own space — that's my introverted side. And yes, judgment is there. Some say I have a bad attitude. That I hate people. Some say she is strange. And others withdraw from my space. Sometimes it feels confusing. I feel like being alone again. I try to vibe with others, but it fails. When I stay in crowded places for a long time, I actually get drained. This forces me to withdraw. If you are one, don't panic. If truly you cannot reciprocate the energy, then stay back and observe. If they judge you, you owe nobody an explanation. When they criticize you, let them think as they wish. That's you. An ambiver...

** Losing a Parent Young: A Pain Only Those Who Wear The Same Shoes Understand** Losing a parent young is something painful. Nobody understands it unless they have worn the same shoes. Specifically a mother — when a child loses a mother, the child loses a map. The pain is unbearable. Yes, the child might not understand it all at the moment of loss, but as time goes by, it starts to hit hard. So hard. At times you will find them crying all alone. We try to comfort them. But wait, can that fade away the sharp, piercing feeling in the heart? Absolutely no. The child recalls moments they spent with their dear mother. The cracking of jokes. The teachings she gave. How they were gently pampered and shown love. Who can replace all that? Surely, nobody. And what about losing a dad? This also hits so hard. Losing the breadwinner. The strength of the family. It is an incurable pain. You try to stay strong, to adapt to a new life. A life of struggle, perhaps where the mother is jobles...

 > Real life is not always loud. Sometimes it teaches quietly. > Lately I have learned that not every day has to be perfect to be meaningful. Some days just surviving with peace in your heart is enough. > I am learning to take life one day at a time, to breathe, to trust the process.

> Hi, I'm Patiz. I started Moyo Talk to share real life thoughts — the heavy days, the hopeful days, and everything in between. This is a safe space for honest talk. Karibu

Welcome to Moyo talk > This space is about real life — the quiet thoughts we keep inside, the hard days, the small wins, and the journey of becoming who we are meant to be. > > Here, I will share honest thoughts about issues of life, heart matters, and finding light even when things feel heavy. > > If you have ever felt alone in your thoughts, this is for you. You are not alone. > > Thank you for being here. Let's walk this journey together.